April 17, 2009...5:51 pm

A Large Error

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I say, there’s been a bit of an uproar about people of large proportions lately.  This, of course, is outrageous.  Many of the large set, as we say, are treated poorly, until people realize how much money we have.  In fact, some punters are outraged that airlines are now charging them for two seats if they wish to fly.  One can complain, write letters, or protest if one wishes, but there’s always a better way.

Why don’t those who object to this rule simply get first class reservations?  The seats up front can easily accomodate the Smellington posterior, and ought to work well for yours as well.  There’s no need to run out and charter a private aircraft, though that’s a good option for those who don’t actually own a Learjet.

When I come across stories like these, I understand why the billionaire mentality is needed to reform schooling for the bootless and unhorsed.  We billionaires are natural problem solvers, and those of us with the wherewithal to have kept a few billion in reserve can always find ways to help.  That’s why you’ll always find me contributing toward helping the plebians fulfill their dismal destinies to serve as they were meant to.

I don’t ask for thanks.  All I wish for is a tidy little profit for my innovations and efforts.

Smellington G. Worthington

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