Well done, Smelly, fine blog! “Billionaires For Educational Reform”, that’s us in a nutshell. Of course, there’s also that upstart Bloomberg, him with his “new money”. But I daresay we have to keep up appearances with him, he has done a fine job, whatever the hell he’s been doing with that lawyer friend of his, Klein. Smart guy, that Klein, useful I suppose. You need lawyers to get rid of those incompetent teachers who think they know more than we do. But what’s he worth, a few million?
Still, this “blogging” is tiresome, having to type this drivel all by myself. Bloomy’s right, you know, we really do need to train a higher tech class of servant these days. Can’t even find a live-in who can work a computer. How am I to run for Mayor with the incompetent help we get these days?
Speaking of my run for Mayor, I hear the cost is going up. What did Bloomy spend, $250 million? Probably cost me half a billion this time. And he thinks he can be President for just a billion? He’ll have to spend at least two or three. And if he makes it, Klein will be Education Secretary and I’ll have to find a new Chancellor. Maybe that Alberto Gonzales fellow, he needs a job, and he’s a lawyer too. He’ll have those teachers waterboarding in no time. Great sport, Smelly, waterboarding. We can bet on it down at the club.
Well, Smelly, that’s enough blogging for me for one night. Keep up the good work!
Chatsworth Runforth III
Chatty Old Bean,
I’m shocked you typed this yourself. I simply dictate replies to my secretary. That’s the ticket.
Chatsworth (dare I call you “Chatty”?)-
The solution is quite simple- I’m shocked, dismayed even, that you haven’t thought of it yourself. Now that the teachers are using the online ARIS system, they will become quite computer proficient. Simply have the teachers report directly to you at day’s end. You have solved several problems at once- since teachers’ have such an easy job, at last they will be earning their keep, and you have almost 80,000 indentured servants doing your bidding (typing, mucking out the stables- I’m certain there’s a never-ending list of mundane chores that need to be done).
Humbly yours-
15 more years
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Smelly, old chap:
I tried hiring a secretary, a brand new NY City high school graduate. Couldn’t type a whit, just kept asking when the test starts and where to fill in the little bubbles. Curious, that.
To “15 More Years”:
Excellent idea! I hereby put you on my “A” list for Chancellor. Report to me after school, you’ll start out with some work in the stables. Let’s see how you stack up to that Klein fellow in the manure department.
It’s amazing