Now That’s Progress

I was pleased as punch to be sent the video that appears below. Apparently, serfdom is not dead, and I’m told by reliable sources that Chancellor Joel Klein has his own serf speaking for him. Let me be the first to shout, bravo!

Now serfdom is traditionally associated with agriculture, but here’s further evidence that Joel is not only a reformer, but an innovator as well. While I would not have dressed my serf up in a suit, it was quite effective as a counter to that upstart who’s failed to get with the program at PEP meetings.

Why not acquire more serfs, and have them work as teachers? Rather than the 7 hour day associated with that awful union contract, we could have them work double shifts. We could place cots in school basements where they could sleep before going back to work. Another great benefit would be reducing the need to pay for enrichment programs.

Why shouldn’t our serfs work Saturdays and Sundays? Does anyone really believe the serfs of yore took weekends or holidays?

Now certainly we’d have to feed them, and I fail to see why we couldn’t simply acquire kitchen serfs in lieu of those “lunch ladies.” I suppose the only problem would be the carnal temptations with all those teachers and cafeteria workers co-habitating in the basement, but a few well-publicized dismissals and the serfs would soon learn their places.

Once again, bravo Joel. I never knew you were so innovative.

Smellington G. Worthington III

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5 Comments

Filed under innovation

5 responses to “Now That’s Progress

  1. Chatsworth Runforth III

    Jolly good ideas, Smelly! Serfs working double shifts, weekends, holidays, sleeping in the basement. We could have entire schools run like that. Even thought of a catchy name for them: How does “KIPP” strike you?

    Cheerio!
    Chatty Runforth III

  2. Chatty old boy,

    KIPP is certainly a step in the right direction, but it’s only six days, and one is a half day, I’m told. I approve heartily, of course, but I think we can do better. KIPP does actually issue paychecks, which are another inconvenience.

    Workers are supposed to work, are they not? I know when you’re mayor we’ll ratchet it up a bit, but for Joel to enlist a serf is truly a move toward the glory days.

  3. Lydia

    Um…don’t you mean “Cerf?” Do you think that’s the same thing as a serf?

  4. How about doing away with custodians? Teachers can keep the school clean when the kids go home. Think of the money that will be saved.

  5. I say, that’s a smashing good notion. Teach by day, clean by evening, a quick nap, and start all over again.

    Lydia old girl,

    I’m afraid it’s spelled serf. Clearly you are the product of a public school education. Yet, that doesn’t render you unfit for service by any means, so chin up.

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