Mikey For President, Chatty For Mayor

Smelly, old bean,

I just read in that infernal NYC Parent Blog that if term limits are ended, Mikey could go for a third term. Now, the man’s done a bang-up job, no question, and only a billionaire can truly reform our schools to meet the needs and desires of the truly wealthy. But he’s not the only billionaire, as we on this blog well know. He’s made a good start, but he’s new money; it takes someone like myself who grew up rich to really mold this city in our image. It’s time he moved aside for old money to take over.

 So I say, we work to get that chap to stop pussy-footing around and declare his candidacy for President once and for all. Not only will this make room for yours truly to take over as Mayor, but think of the possibilities with one of our own as President. Yachting on the Potomac, Polo on the White House lawn. No Child will be Left Behind, they’ll all be in our mansions, our clubs and our stables to serve us.

 And we’ll finally have efficient government and efficient public schools. No wasting our valuable time waiting for contract bids when we know our friends can do the best job. No waiting for “input” from so-called “stakeholders” who don’t even have enough money to send their kids to private schools. We’ll ban cell phones in schools all over the country, and only children who earn them as rewards for subservient behavior will be allowed to have them. And no depending on a bunch of cheap lawyers to get rid of trouble-making “experienced” teachers that think they’re hot stuff just because they actually studied education. We’ll have the whole FBI at our disposal for that purpose, and Attorney General Joel Klein will make sure of it.

So let’s get on the bandwagon. Mikey for President and Chatty for Mayor! That’ll be the ticket.

Cheerio, pip-pip and all that,

Chatsworth Runforth III


1 Comment

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One response to “Mikey For President, Chatty For Mayor

  1. Idetrorce

    very interesting, but I don’t agree with you

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