That’s the Ticket

Billionaires for Educational Reform have decided to endorse privatization of all schools. For goodness sake, public schools are a drain on the economy. How on earth are we supposed to profit when our taxes simply pay salaries and educate little urchins?

Now think about this; if we were to privatize, we could make all schools for profit enterprises . That means more money for me, for Muffy, and for Mikey Bloomberg, who may become a philanthropist (or a philatelist, I always mix up the two). Naturally, since we’d be taking their money, we’d make sure to instill a sense of civic responsibility in the little buggers.

Let me give you an example. Yesterday, Muffy and I were getting massages in the day room. One of the masseuses, a fetching young thing, had the impertinence to ask how much one of the wall-hangings cost. I mean, how gauche! Students who passed through our schools wouldn’t ask such questions, or indeed any questions. They’d learn to speak when they are spoken to, an admirable quality in the lower classes.

I’m encouraged by the public response to this little venture, and I certainly hope our new visitors will continue to support us as we gradually lay our our vision for the future.

Smellington G. Worthington III

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5 Comments

Filed under Training the great unwashed

5 responses to “That’s the Ticket

  1. Maybe you can make them wear clothing to advertise your businesses. You can also make them pay for these uniforms.

    Might as well make all the money you can off the youth of America.

  2. Thank you for that smashing idea. As a matter of fact, we’re thinking of having them all wear blue vests, and as a matter of personal pride, we’re having them pay for and create them themselves.

    No mollycoddling for our employees.

  3. Lydia

    I want a vest too!

  4. Sure you do.

    Master Smellington, I have reason to believe that Lydia is a subversive.

    While out campaigning with my shopping cart and all, it was brought to my attention by several keenly observant street urchins (who know their place by the way) that Lydia has been posing as a member of the ruling class and infiltrating various top secret school privatization meetings.

    I have reason to believe she may be secretly tape recording the proceedings, then taking the information to public school teachers and parents.

    And witness the despicable and outrageously disrespectful treatment the Honorable Mr. Liebman received regarding the NYC school report cards. It may well be that Lydia was an instigator in this horrendously damaging affair.

    The gall of these parents in thinking they should have some control over THEIR schools and the education of THEIR low-class spawn.

    mad as all get-out,
    unworthy

  5. Goodness gracious. This won’t do, it simply won’t do. I shall have to consult Muffy about this. She’s disciplining the limo driver, as she always does around this time, but ought to be available soon.

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