What ho! What ho! What ho! Augustus “Gussie” Smith-Smythe here. A rousing three cheers to my ancient chum Smellington for his smashing welcome. Old Smelly has been telling me that there are some members of the working class who frequent this site, and what’s worse, they seem to think they actually have a say in how things should be done. And by gosh, old Smelly was absolutely right! I haven’t seen so much rabble in one place since I asked my limo driver to lower the tinted windows in the Bentley in broad daylight.
Anyhoo, it seems that the proletariat is clamoring for crumbs from the so-called stimulus bill. Can you imagine getting all excited over a paltry sum like 1.6 billion dollars? It seems that those pesky educational sorts are all up in arms over it. If you give it to the riff raff who run the schools, they’ll simply toss it away on frivolous things like books and–I hate to soil my lips with the word–salaries. One wonders what they are thinking.
If you want real stimulus, the money should go to well-heeled chaps like Smelly and myself. I could always do with another mansion or two, don’t you know. Think of all the unskilled labor we could hire at minimum wage! Instead of being useless drains on society, they could start paying taxes. Lord knows someone has to.
As an aside to Smelly, what say we initiate a cover charge to post replies? Nothing extravagant–let’s say, $500,000 a comment just to be sporting? It would keep out the unhorsed, and we could use the proceeds to fund some charity event or other where we could drink until we puke on our shoes.