An Unmitigated Outrage!

Hi, ho lovies! (Kiss, kiss). Just got back from a little nip-tuck vacation and I’ve heard the most shocking news! It seems that some of the teachers at my favorite, reform, I mean “charter” school have been attempting to – I can barely say the word – unionize!

What on earth can they be thinking? Don’t they realize what a poor example that would be for the children in their care?

When the Waltons first told us about their brilliant idea to create a Walmart preparatory school, we were absolutely delighted. Why, the idea is sheer brilliance! What a wonderful way to teach the children of the bootless and unhorsed to be cooperative and compliant. Uniforms, chanting, nodding on cue…why the potentials are endless.

Channel all of that so called “righteous indignation” into something productive and create an endless stream of future low-wage workers at the same time. Finally give them something to be proud of.

Needless to say, our checkbooks were immediately out to support such a worthy cause. And now, some uppity teachers want to undermine all that. Just imagine what the children will learn if they see their teachers organizing. It’s only a matter of time before they’ll be asking for ridiculous frivolities like lunch and recess and… Can someone please get me a Vicodin?

Anyhoo, I blame all of this union nonsense on that Obacka fellow. I knew that when he was elected the riff raff would start to get funny ideas in their heads about ‘quality of life’ and all of that other nonsense. That’s what happens when you don’t use the Supreme Court to elect the president.

The real question, though, is how on earth are these stories reaching the newspapers? Someone needs to get that Jay Mathews on the phone and tell him to write another opinion piece. Personally, I think he’s slacking. Someone needs to remind him who is paying his salary. Toodles!

Missy Hawthorne VonBlueblood



Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, innovation, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed, Uncategorized

3 responses to “An Unmitigated Outrage!

  1. J. Foggington Higgenbottom

    Excellent notion to get Jay on the case. Nice to hear from you, Missy. Hope to see you and Smelly at the club ASAP.

  2. KIPP teacher

    I am very upset about all this talk of union. We don’t need a union and do very well without one. You really can’t do what we do in a traditional school and that’s all the union cares about. I don’t want to go through my career worrying about tenure and pensions and all that. I just want to help kids and unions are not going to help me do that.

  3. Missy

    Hear, hear! I hope that all teachers-in fact all Americans, listen to the commenter above.
    You don’t need a pension. Why, there is nothing wrong with working in Walmart or Home Depot when you are 65 years old because you can’t afford silly things like medication and food.
    Work is good! Work keeps you honest!
    Of course, I don’t work, but I am certainly not expected to. That’s for, you know, the riff raff.

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