Not Enough

For the love of Smedley, it’s time to dispense with these mamby-pamby school turnaround schemes. Fire half the staff? Replace principals? Pish posh.

When a school is closed, it needs to be demolished, with extreme prejudice if at all possible. The rubble should be cleared away and a suitable real-estate developer should be selected via no-bid contract to construct a new edifice. Then an appropriate charter school operator, like myself or my friend Courtney Ross, should get input on its design. Since it’s a no-bid contract, we need not bother with those troublesome union regs and may hire whom we wish. That’s the American Way.

I have faith that my friend Cathie will soon enable such changes. In fact, I’d suggest simply dynamiting all existing schools so as to make room for worthy charter chains like the Smellington Academy. Frankly, this is the only way to give the little urchins the training they need. Why should the Walton family, which has given and sacrificed so much to the education of the bootless and unhorsed, be further saddled with the necessity of training its workers, or “associates” as they jocularly label them?

These are banner times for billionaires, and we need move straight ahead. And thank goodness that Obama chap has extended the tax breaks. Let the party continue! What’s good for Bill Gates and me is what’s good for the country!

We’re making great progress. If only that noisy Senator Sanders would shut his festering gob. Wikileaks first, say I.



Filed under Bravo, Holiday Cheer, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Smellington Academy, Training the great unwashed, Uncategorized

16 responses to “Not Enough

  1. But have you not enough billions??? How much more do you need?

  2. I say, how vulgar to discuss how many billions one has.

  3. KIPP Teacher

    This is a good idea. I think we could also build more KIPP schools with this arrangement, and that would be great for kids everywhere. Really KIPP schools do great work, and you should write about them more.

  4. You could save money by having the teachers do the demolition. They have it too easy now.

    • I say, that’s a capital suggestion, just capital. We need stock like you at the Smellington Academy. Would you be interested in the principal position? It pays significantly more than that of teacher–12 dollars an hour, if I’m not mistaken. And there are merit pay raises, should Muffy or I see fit to grant them.

      • I think Cathie might even be able to make a special arrangement with the Regents for some of the little urchins to earn their Physical Education credits by working on the demolition site. I’ll write and suggest this to her immediately!

        PS: With that horrible scare in London last week, it might be wise to keep our Rolls-Royces out of sight for a while. I expect I’ll be seeing some of our friends at the McGraw’s holiday party on Jupiter Island this weekend, and will be sure to remind them, too.

  5. KIPP Teacher

    I don’t think it;s a good idea to have teachers do that kind of work. You should get professionals. Someone could get hurt.

  6. Tauna

    Oh Smellington!
    I’m still homeless.
    How long it has been since I first had the privelege of licking your boots!
    Please, may I be allowed to sleep in your magnificent stables from time to time? It’s a might chilly tonight.

  7. I say Tauna, are you of the equine persuasion? If so, your writing prowess is admirable. I’m going to go out on a limb and conjecture you were educated privately. Not one of my string of poloponies has ever frequented a public school.

    • Tauna

      Sorry I couldn’t respond forthwith. Frostbitten fingers but I can strike the keys with the library pencil.

      Gotta go. They’re running me off, as well they should.

  8. KIPP Teacher

    Some of these jokes are a little tasteless. We should be having serious discussion about education here.

  9. Bill Gunlocke

    You might find some things of worth in my blog about NYC schoolkids and reading.

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