Tag Archives: innovation

Deep Disappointment

That’s what I feel as I stroll the streets today and see all the urchins lollygagging about.  There’s simply no reason for that, and once we open the Smellington Academy they’ll know what it means to get a job done.  And the riffraff on the street!  Why aren’t these people working, for the love of Smedley?

I say, I support Mikey and Joel with the best of them (and of course I wouldn’t consider association with anyone else) but you have to draw the line somewhere.  I mean, it’s bad enough they aren’t coming in weekends.  Let’s not compound this outrage.

I shall have a talk with Mikey and we’ll see the urchins trudge through the snow next time, as well they should.

Smellington G. Worthington III



Filed under innovation, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Smellington Academy, Training the great unwashed, Uncategorized

A Smashing Notion

Gad, it’s been so long since I’ve read something quite so inspirational as this piece in the National Review.   Let’s not have this upstart new president tossing away precious tax dollars on education.   It’s quite reasonable to determine that spending on the bootless and unhorsed, like public school students, and public school teachers, is just appeasing the rabble.  Where’s the upside in that?

As I’ve pointed out repeatedly, having no experience, the great unwashed has no notion what to do with capital, and will fritter it away rather than investing it properly.  After all, they lack things like food and housing, and tend to toss away decent cash on things as short-sighted as rent.  I ask you, how can you entrust money with people who’d use it in such a pointless fashion?

When you use money in the private sector, you’ve pretty much got a guarantee on your investment.  Sure, the doubting Thomases wil chant, they may lose money.  But in America today, when rich people lose money, the government comes to our aid, placing all its resources at our disposal.  Will they do such a thing for bottom-feeders who choose to spend their money on absurd non-starters like rent?  Certainly not.

Furthermore, the authors stress the importance of 12-month education.  Certainly these little urchins ought not to have time off, as we’re training them for a lifetime of labor.  Some academies now offer six days of education, and it’s time we made it seven.  Let’s get back to the good old days, when we told them, “If you don’t report Sunday, don’t bother showing up Monday.”

Billionaires for Education Reform say “Bully” to these forward thinkers.

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Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, old chap!, rabble, Riff-raff

Now That’s Progress

I was pleased as punch to be sent the video that appears below. Apparently, serfdom is not dead, and I’m told by reliable sources that Chancellor Joel Klein has his own serf speaking for him. Let me be the first to shout, bravo!

Now serfdom is traditionally associated with agriculture, but here’s further evidence that Joel is not only a reformer, but an innovator as well. While I would not have dressed my serf up in a suit, it was quite effective as a counter to that upstart who’s failed to get with the program at PEP meetings.

Why not acquire more serfs, and have them work as teachers? Rather than the 7 hour day associated with that awful union contract, we could have them work double shifts. We could place cots in school basements where they could sleep before going back to work. Another great benefit would be reducing the need to pay for enrichment programs.

Why shouldn’t our serfs work Saturdays and Sundays? Does anyone really believe the serfs of yore took weekends or holidays?

Now certainly we’d have to feed them, and I fail to see why we couldn’t simply acquire kitchen serfs in lieu of those “lunch ladies.” I suppose the only problem would be the carnal temptations with all those teachers and cafeteria workers co-habitating in the basement, but a few well-publicized dismissals and the serfs would soon learn their places.

Once again, bravo Joel. I never knew you were so innovative.

Smellington G. Worthington III


Filed under innovation