Tag Archives: Joel

Pish Posh


That’s all I have to say to the naysayers who carp endlessly about Mikey’s alleged shortcomings regarding the recent storm. I say, take a look at our street. The chauffeur had no issue whatsoever ungaraging the limo, and I’ve no doubt Mikey’s chauffeur had no problem either.

Those who complain have only themselves to blame. Had they the good sense to move into a good neighborhood, onto a decent street, they’d have no problems whatsoever. For the love of Smedley, is it Mikey’s fault if their chauffeurs are unable to manage? Sack them all, say I, and seek out replacements with intestinal fortitude! Yet another upside is, as beginners, these rabble will certainly accept lower compensation. Why waste one’s hard-inherited capital on exorbitant salaries when one could invest in a bank and see an upside?

Mikey is doing an excellent job, and has seen to it once again that those who count are taken care of. It’s not as though properties in good neighborhoods are unavailable. One simply has to have the wherewithal to purchase in the right place, and one will be well-taken care of. It’s as plain as the nose on Joel Klein’s face, which I shall miss dearly. Fortunately he’s always an email away. And for those of you who have criticized Joel as unresponsive, I find he immediately responds to my missives. You need only be polite, live in the right neighborhood, and give generously to the right causes. I never cease to be amazed at the lack of foresight and courtesy in your average rabble.

I will wholeheartedly support Mikey when he seeks his fourth term. Anyone who does not simply lacks the judgment it takes to benefit from the system, which can be easily circumvented. I’ve graciously provided several examples in this very piece, and if one chooses not to avail one’s self of them, one has only one’s self to blame.

And one more tip–if you failed to plan, and live on one of those unimportant side streets, have the chauffeurs band together and dig out the street. For goodness sake, it’s not as if they’ve got anything better to do!



Filed under Holiday Cheer, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed, Uncategorized

A Smashing Great Month

I say, Muffy and I are simply beside ourselves with all the progress we’ve made this month.  First, those awful public school teachers are finally going to be judged by test scores.  Frankly, that’s a gift to Mikey and Joel, who can design tests to produce whatever results they like.  Why, we can design tests so difficult that no one can pass them, do it two years in a row, and then finally get rid of all those overpaid teachers with years and years of experience.  Sure we’ll have to pay those oversized pensions, but we can correct that in the future.  In fact if we do this on any regular basis we can turn over staff every two or three years.

Best of all, we’ve raised the charter cap, and we will have another hundred charters right here in Manhattan.  Perhaps we can turn all of Harlem into one entire charter school.  We were very fortunate that the awful proposal to have the rabble have a say in where charter schools are located was turned back.  Joel and Eva know where they belong, and I’m certain they will place them well.

Finally Mikey has done very well by refusing those awful unionized teachers raises.  It’s about time we had a mayor who’d stand up and say no more money for you, and I don’t care about any darn contract!  Let’s put those slovenly teachers in their places, rather than have them out buying big screen TVs and other luxuries that rightly belong to the upper classes!  And today, the Daily News says he’s going to fire teachers anyway!

Good for him, say I!  Let’s continue our march toward a system where education trains the bootless and unhorsed to serve us, as they rightly should!


Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed


I say, the Worthington household is all abuzz with the fabulous work of the groundbreaking Washington DC Chancellor.  Michelle Rhee is most certainly a model for Mikey and Joel.

No seniority nonsense for her.  Dump hundreds of teachers on the street, and leave them there.  This is what needs to happen to the bootless and unhorsed when they get uppity.  Now all we need is for Mikey and Joel to get on the bandwagon.  In three days they’ll have another four years, and I see no reason why we couldn’t get a fourth term.

It’s about time the great unwashed learn that we do what we want, when we want, and how we want.  Thanks to our valiant Mayor for demonstrating this, and don’t forget the great work of this Rhee woman.

She’s a model for us all.

1 Comment

Filed under Bravo, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed

Bravo, Chaps

I say, the folks at Gotham Schools are providing an excellent forum for those who’d speak reason.  Look here, and here, for some excellent defenses of the great work Mikey and Joel are doing.

Hip, hip, hooray to those who stand up for Mikey and Joel under these trying circumstances. It takes some gumption to stand up to the rabble and say what ho, even though you voted for term limits, we still need a billionaire to run things. And to those Gloomy Guses who say, “It hasn’t gotten any better” under Mikey and Joel, I say, better for whom?

As ably pointed out in those comments, were there mayoral control, Rudy Crew may have been able to enact some of the changes he wished. It’s neither here nor there that Mikey would have dismissed him posthaste before allowing him to squander funds on such nonsense. And it’s also important to note that, as pointed out above, it makes no difference whatsoever whether or not the rabble gets good test scores. The important thing is to involve as many of them as possible in the process, so as to keep the little urchins occupied and off the streets.

I for one have had it up to here with hearing the chancellor needs to protect the interests of the students. What rot. The chancellor must protect our interests , not the whims of the bootless and unhorsed. I daresay he’s doing a damn good job of it. Thanks to the good people who comment at Gotham Schools for providing voices of reason against unruly rabble who insist on raising needless objections.

Smellington G. Worthington III


Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed

I’m Appalled

I’ve been perusing the internets of late, and I’ve come across this absolutely ghastly NYC Public School Parents blog.  They are upset, evidently, that Joel pays his people so well.  What are these people, communists?  Then, when I examine the fine print, it turns out they’re earning a mere 150-180 thousand per year.  Gad, the indignity.

I say, you can’t even buy a house for 180 thousand nowadays.  Where do you people get off calling that a high salary?

Heavens to Betsy, these are the sort of people who have to settle for simple first-class reservations when it would be more efficacious to charter a private aircraft, settling for American caviar rather than Beluga, and generally making a muck of it.

Why aren’t these people working?  Too much leisure time for the bootless and unhorsed.  When the Smellington Academies go national, we’ll put them in their place, and we won’t stop at 6 days a week, like those noncomittal KIPP schools.  Weak as water, that’s what they are.


Filed under rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed

Caroline is People Like Us

I say, there’s been a lot of brouhaha over Caroline, and let me be the first to point out that she’s strictly PLU.  Meanwhile, every pleb with a typewriter is out to dash her hopes.  Now the Kennedys have been in it long enough to be considered not quite old money, but old enough money to get the job done.  So let’s stop these preposterous protests from the New York Times, which seems to have considerably less capital than Caroline.

She’s a grand old girl, doing her bit for Mikey, and helping make the city school system what it is today,  Why, without the likes of Caroline, the Smellington Academy would be a mere pipe dream.  But thanks to Mikey and Joel, and now Caroline, we’ll have it up and running in a jiffy.  Gadzooks, what a bunch of whiners out there on the internets!

Now that Mikey has stood up to let the bootless and unhorsed know their laughable elections are of no consequence. we can be sure that he’ll be there protecting our interests for the forseeable future.  Naturally, I regret Chatsworth will not be taking over, but the truth is old Chatty has been overindulging the alcohol of late, and may not have been in the best position to protect our interests.

Remember, Caroline is our girl, and when she’s in the Senate she’ll remember on which side her bread is buttered.

Smellington G. Worthington III


Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!

This Sharpton Chap

Regrets for neglecting the old bloggywog.  Have been yachting at St. Barts with Muffy and the poolboy.  Told Muffy we didn’t need the poolboy on the yacht but Muff said we also needed a yachtboy at the pool.  Muffy and pool boy spent a great deal of time discussing the viability of adding a pool to the yacht, but it all came to naught.

I’ve been hearing a great deal about Joel and this Al Sharpton bloke.  They say if Joel spends enough time running around with this fellow it may convince the Great Unwashed that we don’t worry simply about People Like Us.  Now this may be true, but it certainly seems to me that People Like Us should be running the system.  I mean, we can’t have blokes educated in public schools running them.  That just won’t wash, old bean.  And if you’re part of the Great Unwashed, you can’t expect the likes of Joel or me to come around and wash you.

So let’s tread carefully, Joel, with this Sharpton chap.  Let him get his picture on the telly, or whatever, but let’s not have him muddying our agenda.  When the Smellington Academy opens in 09, we’ll show them a thing or three.

Well, must dash.  Have to take the pheasant out from under the glass.  Pheasants really should not be kept under glass.  Peasants, of course, are another issue entirely.


Filed under Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed