Tag Archives: lazy people

For the Love of Smedley

A Facebook friend recently sent me this link, about how the wealthy have acquired more capital as of late. This would not be so shocking if it were not portrayed as a bad thing. I tire of going back to basic principles, but it’s well-known that persons of no account have no idea how to handle capital. They fritter it away on food, rent, and other such trifles when its true magic is investment. If they aren’t going to make it grow, why should they have it at all?

Don’t their very own tax dollars finance food stamps? Aren’t there soup kitchens and shelters? Why don’t they simply make use of those facilities, buy the Wall Street Journal, and figure out the best ways to enrich whatever pittance they may come across? That’s what this country is all about, by George.

Pulling one’s self up by one’s bootstraps is, of course, troublesome for the bootless and unhorsed. This notwithstanding, it’s their duty to do so. Let it be a challenge to them, say I.  This is capitalism, and it’s what my father sweated for when meeting his lawyers to determine how best to dispense our trust funds and portfolios. If all parents went to this trouble, there’d be less foul-smelling rabble, and the world would be a better place.

Must dash. Muffy seems to have locked herself into a closet with the poolboy, and I must dispatch a servant to open it with all due haste.

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Filed under Holy crumpet!, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed, Uncategorized

Bravo for the State Senate

I say, it’s high time we stopped tossing about cash on these little urchins.  Give them the absolute minimum, show them how to be good little workers, and they’ll be faithful servants for as long as they’re needed.  It’s hard to get good help these days.  Several times daily, I tell the chauffeur to garage the limo, but he’s circling about the block trying to impress some floozie or other.  Train them as children, say I, and they’ll do whatever requested of them.  That Geoffrey Canada chap has the right stuff, and God bless American Express for giving him a forum.

Muffy and the poolboy are all for this, and seem to have created their own classroom in which they model the prescribed behavior.  At least I hope that’s what they’re doing, as they’ve locked the door and are making the most remarkable grunting and shouting sounds.  Spare the rod and spoil the child is what I say, and it’s jolly high time we brought back corporal punishment and dispensed with this mamby-pamby nonsense they’re given in those public schools.  The sooner they close them the better.

Personally, I’ve had it up to here with all this gobbledygook about social justice and entitlement.  Bill Gates, Joel Klein, and yes, the President of the United States have another vision.  Let’s halt all this nonsense about blaming Wall Street for the economy, and the sooner we do that, the sooner we can lay all these lost dollars at the feet of the unionized teachers.  The punters will eat it up.

Let’s get them to stop talking about, “Why can’t I have this or that?” and focus directly on “Why do teachers have this or that?”  That way, they’ll be happy about the downfall of these socialized workers, and be happy with whatever trickles down on them.  Finally, we have a Democrat in office who will help us, and what’s better than that?

With the money they don’t put in public schools, we can build our charter network to the point of replacing them completely.  Teachers will be at-will employees who last a maximum of five years, we can pay ourselves whatever we want, and then we can start making some real money from this “education” our taxes have been funding all these years.

Cheerio!

Smellington G. Worthington III

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Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, ever-decreasing profit margins, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed

A Voice of Reason

I say, these internets are a great source of inspiration.  Why just today I was perusing the Gotham Schools blog thingie, and I found a parent willing to speak up against the involvement of parents.  The chap called himself “Dissenter,” and was willing to give up the popular notion that anyone but the moneyed class should take part in the education of the urchins that blight our fair city.

Now if only more rabble would share that view, we’d be able to get even more of the cheap labor our city needs.  I was thrilled, truth be told, and I’m sharing my response below in its entirety:

I agree with this Dissenter chap. Why on earth should the bootless and unhorsed have any say whatsoever in the education of their children? Rabble need to be guided with a firm hand, and Mikey Bloomberg is just the man to do it, by Jove.

I also agree it’s union chicanery, and this Randi Weingarten woman is only pretending to support Mikey, while in secret she’s plotting to ask for more money for those awful teachers, who are always blathering on about one thing or another. Frankly, they make me ill with their demands of lower class sizes, and time off for this and that.

Fire them all, I say, and give them something to really complain about. And as for the rabble, we’ll train them to do what needs to be done. No more of this namby-pamby mollycoddling.

Smellington G. Worthington III

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Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, innovation, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed

A Simple Question

I was out walking today, and all around me were the bootless and unhorsed, and I had to ask Muffy, “Gad, why aren’t these people working?”

This country has lost its moral compass. We need to get these people scrubbing the floors immediately. If we allow this sort of nonsense year after year, mark my words, anarchy will ensue. And not only at my holiday party, to which I must dash immediately.

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Well I Never

As we were circling the park in our carriage this evening after our Thanksgiving repast, I couldn’t help but observe the rabble everywhere, meandering this way and that. I asked the Missus, “Mommy, for the love of Pete, why aren’t these people working?”

She pointed out that the public school system is failing us. How can we train the working class to serve us when they go to school only five days a week, and only six or seven hours a day?

What we need are more schools like KIPP, which train them to work round the clock and weekends. Let’s move toward a fourteen-hour day. I mean, honestly, how can you get good help when they want to go home, they want to see their families, they want to watch television, or they want to go to the movies? Let’s get back to “If you don’t come in Sunday, don’t come in Monday.

That’s the ticket.

Smellington G. Worthington III

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