Tag Archives: privatization

That’s the Ticket

Billionaires for Educational Reform have decided to endorse privatization of all schools. For goodness sake, public schools are a drain on the economy. How on earth are we supposed to profit when our taxes simply pay salaries and educate little urchins?

Now think about this; if we were to privatize, we could make all schools for profit enterprises . That means more money for me, for Muffy, and for Mikey Bloomberg, who may become a philanthropist (or a philatelist, I always mix up the two). Naturally, since we’d be taking their money, we’d make sure to instill a sense of civic responsibility in the little buggers.

Let me give you an example. Yesterday, Muffy and I were getting massages in the day room. One of the masseuses, a fetching young thing, had the impertinence to ask how much one of the wall-hangings cost. I mean, how gauche! Students who passed through our schools wouldn’t ask such questions, or indeed any questions. They’d learn to speak when they are spoken to, an admirable quality in the lower classes.

I’m encouraged by the public response to this little venture, and I certainly hope our new visitors will continue to support us as we gradually lay our our vision for the future.

Smellington G. Worthington III


Filed under Training the great unwashed