Tag Archives: public schools

Bravo, Mr. Governor

I say, this Andrew Cuomo is a smashing chap, just smashing. When I read a plan like this one, I’m heartened to see that all that money we gave him is finally paying off. It appears we’re dispensing with that nonsensical plan that the Regents cooked up with that odious union, and finally coming up with something we can manipulate any way we please.

This way, we can send teachers to classes where we know no progress will be made, and in a mere two years we can get them off the payroll. This will free up job opportunities for those whom we feel actually merit them. It could be in-laws, cousins, or reliable contributors to political campaigns. After all since we really represent 1% of the population, it’s really well-advised to shore up our numbers whenever possible.

Let’s have a hip-hip hooray for noble Andrew Cuomo! Every man has his price, and I for one shall sleep sounder knowing he’s bought and paid for. And for those teachers who are always complaining, there will always be dignified non-union jobs at the Smellington Academy for those who know how to do what they’re told. Sure, they won’t pay as well, but you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’re training the little urchins for their own jobs that won’t pay well. Thank goodness that Obama fellow didn’t go through with his threat to enable that Employee Free Choice Act, promoting those nasty Bolshevik trade unions!

It’s morning in America again!

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A Grand Week

I say, it’s delightful to see Bill Gates addressing one of those awful teacher unions.  They’ve finally seen the light and decided to do as they’re told.  Personally, I couldn’t be more delighted.  It’s about time we placed regulations to get rid of that awful tenure thing.  Clearly an employer should be able to fire whomever he wants, if not for the simple fact that it’s his money, but as a cost-cutting measure.

If teachers want raises for simply working longer than other teachers, fine, say I.  As soon as they are up for a rise, we’ll discharge them, and seek eager urchins to take their places.  After all, what do the rabble need to know when all is said and done?  How to serve quietly and with a modicum of dignity.  As that Jay Matthews chap says, they should work hard and be nice.

I’ve asked Muffy to provide and update, but sadly she and the poolboy joined a book club months ago, and have been studying most every night.  I do hope they finish that blasted book soon.  I’ve offered to read it myself, but they claim it’s an educational voyage of some sort, blast it all.

I shall try to provide regular updates.  I predict a smashing summer for billionaires everywhere, and if you’re weary of paying the Dalton school, we shall be providing special programs for children of PLUs at the Smellington Academy.  There is a lottery, of course, but if you are a PLU you’re certain to win it and save all that inconvenient tuition money.  After all, why should you dip into your petty cash when we can just as easily bill the taxpayer?

Will be at the Hampton address beginning Wednesday if you wish to drop by.  Only hope I can persuade Muffy to miss a meeting or two at that blasted book club.

Cheerio!

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A Smashing Great Month

I say, Muffy and I are simply beside ourselves with all the progress we’ve made this month.  First, those awful public school teachers are finally going to be judged by test scores.  Frankly, that’s a gift to Mikey and Joel, who can design tests to produce whatever results they like.  Why, we can design tests so difficult that no one can pass them, do it two years in a row, and then finally get rid of all those overpaid teachers with years and years of experience.  Sure we’ll have to pay those oversized pensions, but we can correct that in the future.  In fact if we do this on any regular basis we can turn over staff every two or three years.

Best of all, we’ve raised the charter cap, and we will have another hundred charters right here in Manhattan.  Perhaps we can turn all of Harlem into one entire charter school.  We were very fortunate that the awful proposal to have the rabble have a say in where charter schools are located was turned back.  Joel and Eva know where they belong, and I’m certain they will place them well.

Finally Mikey has done very well by refusing those awful unionized teachers raises.  It’s about time we had a mayor who’d stand up and say no more money for you, and I don’t care about any darn contract!  Let’s put those slovenly teachers in their places, rather than have them out buying big screen TVs and other luxuries that rightly belong to the upper classes!  And today, the Daily News says he’s going to fire teachers anyway!

Good for him, say I!  Let’s continue our march toward a system where education trains the bootless and unhorsed to serve us, as they rightly should!

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Bravo for the State Senate

I say, it’s high time we stopped tossing about cash on these little urchins.  Give them the absolute minimum, show them how to be good little workers, and they’ll be faithful servants for as long as they’re needed.  It’s hard to get good help these days.  Several times daily, I tell the chauffeur to garage the limo, but he’s circling about the block trying to impress some floozie or other.  Train them as children, say I, and they’ll do whatever requested of them.  That Geoffrey Canada chap has the right stuff, and God bless American Express for giving him a forum.

Muffy and the poolboy are all for this, and seem to have created their own classroom in which they model the prescribed behavior.  At least I hope that’s what they’re doing, as they’ve locked the door and are making the most remarkable grunting and shouting sounds.  Spare the rod and spoil the child is what I say, and it’s jolly high time we brought back corporal punishment and dispensed with this mamby-pamby nonsense they’re given in those public schools.  The sooner they close them the better.

Personally, I’ve had it up to here with all this gobbledygook about social justice and entitlement.  Bill Gates, Joel Klein, and yes, the President of the United States have another vision.  Let’s halt all this nonsense about blaming Wall Street for the economy, and the sooner we do that, the sooner we can lay all these lost dollars at the feet of the unionized teachers.  The punters will eat it up.

Let’s get them to stop talking about, “Why can’t I have this or that?” and focus directly on “Why do teachers have this or that?”  That way, they’ll be happy about the downfall of these socialized workers, and be happy with whatever trickles down on them.  Finally, we have a Democrat in office who will help us, and what’s better than that?

With the money they don’t put in public schools, we can build our charter network to the point of replacing them completely.  Teachers will be at-will employees who last a maximum of five years, we can pay ourselves whatever we want, and then we can start making some real money from this “education” our taxes have been funding all these years.

Cheerio!

Smellington G. Worthington III

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Rhee-markable

I say, the Worthington household is all abuzz with the fabulous work of the groundbreaking Washington DC Chancellor.  Michelle Rhee is most certainly a model for Mikey and Joel.

No seniority nonsense for her.  Dump hundreds of teachers on the street, and leave them there.  This is what needs to happen to the bootless and unhorsed when they get uppity.  Now all we need is for Mikey and Joel to get on the bandwagon.  In three days they’ll have another four years, and I see no reason why we couldn’t get a fourth term.

It’s about time the great unwashed learn that we do what we want, when we want, and how we want.  Thanks to our valiant Mayor for demonstrating this, and don’t forget the great work of this Rhee woman.

She’s a model for us all.

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What Rot

I say, when I read things like this on the internets, they go right up my nose.  What sort of bounder publishes embarrassing photos of Mikey like that one?  Not only that, but this chap is outright disrespectful not only to Mikey, but to the entire concept of mayoral control.

I say, hear hear to Mikey for refusing to compromise in any way.  The only way to get the rabble in line is to control their education from the beginning, without any of this flapadoodle from the bootless and unhorsed.  Oh, the parents have to have their say.  I say, what on earth do these parents know?  If they had any sense they’d be rich.

Now sure Mikey is new money, which means he’s not as well-versed in the stuff as those of us who’ve always had it, but honestly, can you really compare Mikey, the richest chap in the city (hear hear!) to the rabble?  I say, hip, hip hooray, and for he’s a jolly good fellow!  Those who think otherwise are not worthy to touch the hem of his garment.

Smellington G. Worthington III

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All Atwitter

That’s what I am when I see that young man Barack Obama on the television talking about school reform.  He’ll get charter schools into every corner of this nation!  I see Smellington Academies in every nook and cranny of this country.  Recession be damned!

Do you know how much money there is in education, even in bad times?  Billions upon billions!  And till now, it’s been frittered away on urchins and malcontents who have no idea what it’s worth!  I say, Muffy can get another yacht, and another yachtboy if need be.  Why should we be restricted to the one?

This Barack chap is just what the masses need, and the good times are just beginning!

Smellington G. Worthington III

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