Tag Archives: rabble in the schools

Bravo, Mr. Governor

I say, this Andrew Cuomo is a smashing chap, just smashing. When I read a plan like this one, I’m heartened to see that all that money we gave him is finally paying off. It appears we’re dispensing with that nonsensical plan that the Regents cooked up with that odious union, and finally coming up with something we can manipulate any way we please.

This way, we can send teachers to classes where we know no progress will be made, and in a mere two years we can get them off the payroll. This will free up job opportunities for those whom we feel actually merit them. It could be in-laws, cousins, or reliable contributors to political campaigns. After all since we really represent 1% of the population, it’s really well-advised to shore up our numbers whenever possible.

Let’s have a hip-hip hooray for noble Andrew Cuomo! Every man has his price, and I for one shall sleep sounder knowing he’s bought and paid for. And for those teachers who are always complaining, there will always be dignified non-union jobs at the Smellington Academy for those who know how to do what they’re told. Sure, they won’t pay as well, but you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you’re training the little urchins for their own jobs that won’t pay well. Thank goodness that Obama fellow didn’t go through with his threat to enable that Employee Free Choice Act, promoting those nasty Bolshevik trade unions!

It’s morning in America again!

11 Comments

Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, Holy crumpet!, innovation, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Smellington Academy, Training the great unwashed, Uncategorized

A Glorious Week

On Tuesday, Andrew Cuomo will become Governor of New York State and there will be a big change. Less likely Carl Paladino will become Governor of New York State and there will be a big change.   What’s important is we have fundamentally changed the conversation, and either way, we win.  Billionaires finally win, whether you vote for a Democrat or a Republican.  No one shall stand in the way of Smellington Academies, which will blossom like exclusive clubs all over our fair state.  We will teach the bootless and unhorsed our ways and they will finally raise their children to give due deference to the moneyed classes.

And let me say plainly, we’ve waited a long time for this. It used to be even a Republican governor, like that blasted Nelson Rockefeller, would feign liberalism just to have a shot at reelection. Nowadays, the punters will vote for whoever we say, and that’s as it should be.  For the love of Smedley, why should I have to invest my hard-inherited funds on politicians? Oh, it’s true Andrew Cuomo didn’t come cheap, but knowing he would win allowed us to save big on his opponent, who can fund his own campaign anyway.

With Andrew Cuomo as governor, Barack Obama as President, and Mikey as Mayor, this really has become our little playground. We’ve got all those tea party chaps insisting that we retain the Bush tax cuts and we can plow that money right back into keeping the punters in line where they belong. Muffy and the poolboy shan’t want for anything, though I certainly wish they’d wiggle out of the crawl space.  What blasted thing could they be fixing down there?

Anyway, be of good cheer.  The schools are as good as ours, and there’s billions in them. We’ve got the papers, the schools, the government, and next it’s onto those blasted internets. Once we control who can and cannot get on, we’ll have it all.  Keep your eyes peeled for online Smellington Academies!  They’re the wave of the future!

Smellington G. Worthington III

6 Comments

Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, Holiday Cheer, innovation, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Smellington Academy, Training the great unwashed, Uncategorized

It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane…

It’s a dashing good piece of cinema, if I don’t say so myself.  Bully for Davis Guggenheim for standing up to the naysayers and sticking up for the Billionaire Point of View.  It’s good to see folks like that Rhee woman saying kids are getting a crappy education in those schools she runs.  Doubtless she’d be overjoyed to see them replaced by a chain of Smellington Academies.  Drat the luck that got her mentor out of office, but money and time, as always, will win the day.

I’m delighted with the folks at MSNBC, who usually spout liberal claptrap, for further publicizing the film.  Muffy was so moved by it that she and the poolboy had to spend an entire 45 minutes in the restroom so she could compose herself.  She missed the part where that awful Weingarten woman came on the screen.  Fortunately sinister music came on and the entire audience booed.  It’s about time we started firing more teachers.  Certainly we could hire them more cheaply and replace them more easily if our hands weren’t tied by those blasted contracts.

Remember, it’s children first.  And we’ll get to the children.  First we have to show those darn teachers who’s boss, and I think this film will help us enormously in our efforts.

Smellington G. Worthington III

5 Comments

Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, innovation, old chap!, Smellington Academy, Training the great unwashed, Uncategorized

A Grand Week

I say, it’s delightful to see Bill Gates addressing one of those awful teacher unions.  They’ve finally seen the light and decided to do as they’re told.  Personally, I couldn’t be more delighted.  It’s about time we placed regulations to get rid of that awful tenure thing.  Clearly an employer should be able to fire whomever he wants, if not for the simple fact that it’s his money, but as a cost-cutting measure.

If teachers want raises for simply working longer than other teachers, fine, say I.  As soon as they are up for a rise, we’ll discharge them, and seek eager urchins to take their places.  After all, what do the rabble need to know when all is said and done?  How to serve quietly and with a modicum of dignity.  As that Jay Matthews chap says, they should work hard and be nice.

I’ve asked Muffy to provide and update, but sadly she and the poolboy joined a book club months ago, and have been studying most every night.  I do hope they finish that blasted book soon.  I’ve offered to read it myself, but they claim it’s an educational voyage of some sort, blast it all.

I shall try to provide regular updates.  I predict a smashing summer for billionaires everywhere, and if you’re weary of paying the Dalton school, we shall be providing special programs for children of PLUs at the Smellington Academy.  There is a lottery, of course, but if you are a PLU you’re certain to win it and save all that inconvenient tuition money.  After all, why should you dip into your petty cash when we can just as easily bill the taxpayer?

Will be at the Hampton address beginning Wednesday if you wish to drop by.  Only hope I can persuade Muffy to miss a meeting or two at that blasted book club.

Cheerio!

1 Comment

Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, innovation, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Smellington Academy, Training the great unwashed, Uncategorized

All in a Titter

I say, this Okey chap is not what I’d call an OK chap.  His priorities are most decidedly twisted.  How on earth could he be taking money away from Race to the Top simply to save teachers?  Why do we want teachers when we can have reform, like school closings and merit pay, that truly enable noble ventures like the Smellington Academy to take their places?  Our President is most definitely a right-thinking fellow, which is why he’s promised to veto these absurd measures.

With fewer unionized teachers there’ll be more opportunity to fulfill the golden vision of at-will employment for all.  If I’m paying the salary, I am entitled to fire the employee for whatever I wish, and why not teachers too?  What if they aren’t teaching the Smellington way?  Do I want my teachers blathering on about urchin’s rights, or training them to work long hours for low pay, thus enriching people who actually know how to invest money, rather than frittering it away on rent and groceries?

I’m relieved that New York has finally come along and decided to accept the wise reforms that Arne is promoting.  Eventually we will rid ourselves of those awful unions altogether and pay workers what we decide.  Only then will we be able to withdraw that awful minimum wage, bring back company stores, and have workers go to their graves owing employers money.  Surely by then we’ll be able to pass debts to next of kin, or at the very least have the government guarantee it.

I see a bright future for our organization, and for our visionary philosophy.

Smellington G. Worthington III

2 Comments

Filed under innovation, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Smellington Academy, Training the great unwashed, Uncategorized

A Smashing Great Month

I say, Muffy and I are simply beside ourselves with all the progress we’ve made this month.  First, those awful public school teachers are finally going to be judged by test scores.  Frankly, that’s a gift to Mikey and Joel, who can design tests to produce whatever results they like.  Why, we can design tests so difficult that no one can pass them, do it two years in a row, and then finally get rid of all those overpaid teachers with years and years of experience.  Sure we’ll have to pay those oversized pensions, but we can correct that in the future.  In fact if we do this on any regular basis we can turn over staff every two or three years.

Best of all, we’ve raised the charter cap, and we will have another hundred charters right here in Manhattan.  Perhaps we can turn all of Harlem into one entire charter school.  We were very fortunate that the awful proposal to have the rabble have a say in where charter schools are located was turned back.  Joel and Eva know where they belong, and I’m certain they will place them well.

Finally Mikey has done very well by refusing those awful unionized teachers raises.  It’s about time we had a mayor who’d stand up and say no more money for you, and I don’t care about any darn contract!  Let’s put those slovenly teachers in their places, rather than have them out buying big screen TVs and other luxuries that rightly belong to the upper classes!  And today, the Daily News says he’s going to fire teachers anyway!

Good for him, say I!  Let’s continue our march toward a system where education trains the bootless and unhorsed to serve us, as they rightly should!

2 Comments

Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed

Bravo for the State Senate

I say, it’s high time we stopped tossing about cash on these little urchins.  Give them the absolute minimum, show them how to be good little workers, and they’ll be faithful servants for as long as they’re needed.  It’s hard to get good help these days.  Several times daily, I tell the chauffeur to garage the limo, but he’s circling about the block trying to impress some floozie or other.  Train them as children, say I, and they’ll do whatever requested of them.  That Geoffrey Canada chap has the right stuff, and God bless American Express for giving him a forum.

Muffy and the poolboy are all for this, and seem to have created their own classroom in which they model the prescribed behavior.  At least I hope that’s what they’re doing, as they’ve locked the door and are making the most remarkable grunting and shouting sounds.  Spare the rod and spoil the child is what I say, and it’s jolly high time we brought back corporal punishment and dispensed with this mamby-pamby nonsense they’re given in those public schools.  The sooner they close them the better.

Personally, I’ve had it up to here with all this gobbledygook about social justice and entitlement.  Bill Gates, Joel Klein, and yes, the President of the United States have another vision.  Let’s halt all this nonsense about blaming Wall Street for the economy, and the sooner we do that, the sooner we can lay all these lost dollars at the feet of the unionized teachers.  The punters will eat it up.

Let’s get them to stop talking about, “Why can’t I have this or that?” and focus directly on “Why do teachers have this or that?”  That way, they’ll be happy about the downfall of these socialized workers, and be happy with whatever trickles down on them.  Finally, we have a Democrat in office who will help us, and what’s better than that?

With the money they don’t put in public schools, we can build our charter network to the point of replacing them completely.  Teachers will be at-will employees who last a maximum of five years, we can pay ourselves whatever we want, and then we can start making some real money from this “education” our taxes have been funding all these years.

Cheerio!

Smellington G. Worthington III

4 Comments

Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, ever-decreasing profit margins, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed