On Tuesday, Andrew Cuomo will become Governor of New York State and there will be a big change. Less likely Carl Paladino will become Governor of New York State and there will be a big change. What’s important is we have fundamentally changed the conversation, and either way, we win. Billionaires finally win, whether you vote for a Democrat or a Republican. No one shall stand in the way of Smellington Academies, which will blossom like exclusive clubs all over our fair state. We will teach the bootless and unhorsed our ways and they will finally raise their children to give due deference to the moneyed classes.
And let me say plainly, we’ve waited a long time for this. It used to be even a Republican governor, like that blasted Nelson Rockefeller, would feign liberalism just to have a shot at reelection. Nowadays, the punters will vote for whoever we say, and that’s as it should be. For the love of Smedley, why should I have to invest my hard-inherited funds on politicians? Oh, it’s true Andrew Cuomo didn’t come cheap, but knowing he would win allowed us to save big on his opponent, who can fund his own campaign anyway.
With Andrew Cuomo as governor, Barack Obama as President, and Mikey as Mayor, this really has become our little playground. We’ve got all those tea party chaps insisting that we retain the Bush tax cuts and we can plow that money right back into keeping the punters in line where they belong. Muffy and the poolboy shan’t want for anything, though I certainly wish they’d wiggle out of the crawl space. What blasted thing could they be fixing down there?
Anyway, be of good cheer. The schools are as good as ours, and there’s billions in them. We’ve got the papers, the schools, the government, and next it’s onto those blasted internets. Once we control who can and cannot get on, we’ll have it all. Keep your eyes peeled for online Smellington Academies! They’re the wave of the future!
Smellington G. Worthington III