Tag Archives: those awful things

Bravo to this Obama Chap

I say, it’s refreshing to finally have a President who openly admits the needs of the rich outweigh those of the poor.  This Obama fellow, it appears, threatened to veto any bill that would take money away from Race to the Top.  As readers are no doubt aware, Race to the Top encourages innovations from chaps like Bill Gates, yours truly, and those lovable Wal-Mart folks.  We have priorities and we know what’s important.

When we get to close a public school and drain it of unionized employees, it’s good for business.  As any fool knows, what’s good for business is good for America.  Otherwise, why would the government see fit to bail us out whenever we find ourselves in a bit of a tizzy?  It’s brilliant of the Obama fellow to take the funds from food stamps.  What on earth do people produce by using food stamps?  It is, frankly, one of the most unproductive uses of money I can imagine.  What does it produce?

To take it a step further, what would happen if one of the great unwashed consumed something poisonous?  Would the government step in to help?  Hopefully not, as that would cause even more drain on society, and possibly lead to a tax increase for PLUs.  On the other hand, if I were to make a spectacularly unfavorable investment, you can be sure that this government would fly to my rescue and cover it, as they did last year.

It’s fairly clear that investing in rich people involves no risk whatsoever, while investing in the bootless and unhorsed is a dicey prospect indeed.

Smellington G. Worthington III

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Bravo for the State Senate

I say, it’s high time we stopped tossing about cash on these little urchins.  Give them the absolute minimum, show them how to be good little workers, and they’ll be faithful servants for as long as they’re needed.  It’s hard to get good help these days.  Several times daily, I tell the chauffeur to garage the limo, but he’s circling about the block trying to impress some floozie or other.  Train them as children, say I, and they’ll do whatever requested of them.  That Geoffrey Canada chap has the right stuff, and God bless American Express for giving him a forum.

Muffy and the poolboy are all for this, and seem to have created their own classroom in which they model the prescribed behavior.  At least I hope that’s what they’re doing, as they’ve locked the door and are making the most remarkable grunting and shouting sounds.  Spare the rod and spoil the child is what I say, and it’s jolly high time we brought back corporal punishment and dispensed with this mamby-pamby nonsense they’re given in those public schools.  The sooner they close them the better.

Personally, I’ve had it up to here with all this gobbledygook about social justice and entitlement.  Bill Gates, Joel Klein, and yes, the President of the United States have another vision.  Let’s halt all this nonsense about blaming Wall Street for the economy, and the sooner we do that, the sooner we can lay all these lost dollars at the feet of the unionized teachers.  The punters will eat it up.

Let’s get them to stop talking about, “Why can’t I have this or that?” and focus directly on “Why do teachers have this or that?”  That way, they’ll be happy about the downfall of these socialized workers, and be happy with whatever trickles down on them.  Finally, we have a Democrat in office who will help us, and what’s better than that?

With the money they don’t put in public schools, we can build our charter network to the point of replacing them completely.  Teachers will be at-will employees who last a maximum of five years, we can pay ourselves whatever we want, and then we can start making some real money from this “education” our taxes have been funding all these years.

Cheerio!

Smellington G. Worthington III

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Filed under Bravo, Bravo old chap!, ever-decreasing profit margins, old chap!, plebs, rabble, Riff-raff, Training the great unwashed

All Atwitter

That’s what I am when I see that young man Barack Obama on the television talking about school reform.  He’ll get charter schools into every corner of this nation!  I see Smellington Academies in every nook and cranny of this country.  Recession be damned!

Do you know how much money there is in education, even in bad times?  Billions upon billions!  And till now, it’s been frittered away on urchins and malcontents who have no idea what it’s worth!  I say, Muffy can get another yacht, and another yachtboy if need be.  Why should we be restricted to the one?

This Barack chap is just what the masses need, and the good times are just beginning!

Smellington G. Worthington III

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A Smashing Notion

Gad, it’s been so long since I’ve read something quite so inspirational as this piece in the National Review.   Let’s not have this upstart new president tossing away precious tax dollars on education.   It’s quite reasonable to determine that spending on the bootless and unhorsed, like public school students, and public school teachers, is just appeasing the rabble.  Where’s the upside in that?

As I’ve pointed out repeatedly, having no experience, the great unwashed has no notion what to do with capital, and will fritter it away rather than investing it properly.  After all, they lack things like food and housing, and tend to toss away decent cash on things as short-sighted as rent.  I ask you, how can you entrust money with people who’d use it in such a pointless fashion?

When you use money in the private sector, you’ve pretty much got a guarantee on your investment.  Sure, the doubting Thomases wil chant, they may lose money.  But in America today, when rich people lose money, the government comes to our aid, placing all its resources at our disposal.  Will they do such a thing for bottom-feeders who choose to spend their money on absurd non-starters like rent?  Certainly not.

Furthermore, the authors stress the importance of 12-month education.  Certainly these little urchins ought not to have time off, as we’re training them for a lifetime of labor.  Some academies now offer six days of education, and it’s time we made it seven.  Let’s get back to the good old days, when we told them, “If you don’t report Sunday, don’t bother showing up Monday.”

Billionaires for Education Reform say “Bully” to these forward thinkers.

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What’s All This Hubbub?

This morning Muffy got on that infernal computer, and started reading those awful things those teachers write, weblogs I think they call them. Irritatingly, the first one she read me was this one, written by a president of some sort. This upstart referred to the ” anti-union bottom-feeding mega-retailer, Wal-Mart,” and then had the audacity to complain that it offered money to fund charter schools! Now how on earth can you complain about a company that gives away money for education? And who wants a bunch of union thugs crying about their money and lowering profits for investors?

Next, this association has the unmitigated audacity to comment, “No word on whether students and non-unionized teachers will have to wear blue vests and greet people at the door as they enter.” However, a truly disrespectful article was this one, which not only criticized my good friends the Waltons, but also took a snipe at Whitney Tilson.

Now Whitney, through his hedge funds, has helped to make a lot of rich people even richer. Where’s a more noble cause than that, for goodness sake? And if investing in Wal-Mart helped him do so, I say jolly good! As for the plebeians who whine over how Wal-Mart did this or that, all I can say is they’re opening schools for your vile spawn! How dare you question them?

When Chatty is Mayor, we’ll take steps to block these vile sites so New Yorkers can get information from reliable sources.

Like this one, of course.

Smellington G. Worthington III

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